A00226- Jenkins Family Update 2023
2023 has been a remarkable year. Granted it was a transition year, as one relationship came to an end while another may have begun. Details about that shall be reserved for the 2024 update. However, for 2023, it began by attending the memorial service for Thich Nhat Hanh at the Deer Park Monastery in Escondido on January 8
followed by an enlightening lunch in Manhattan Beach on January 18 with an Amherst College classmate who provided me insights on the travails concerning the return of Bruce's Beach to my distant Bruce family cousins
and a meditative Friday (January 20) afternoon at the Meditation Garden at the Self-Realization Fellowship in Encinitas (Self-Realization Fellowship Encinitas Hermitage and Meditation Gardens - Wikipedia) where I was able to spend a nice afternoon reading a book while listening to the waves.
February and March were spent recovering from the relationship loss. The only highlights being my shooting a 52 on March 8 on the Rancho Solano Golf course front nine and watching the last installment of the John Wick franchise on March 27 at the Century Theater in Napa.
I resumed dating in April, but the two major highlights were fulfilling a bucket list journey to Barcelona, Spain, to see the Sagrada Familia and to Lourdes, France, to celebrate Good Friday, at the Basilica and Grotto associated with Bernadette Soubirous (Bernadette Soubirous - Wikipedia).
To get to Lourdes, I flew into Barcelona, Spain (April 2), and toured the City including a stop at the Sagrada Familia (Sagrada Família - Wikipedia) and then hired a driver to drive me to Lourdes (April 6). The drive to Lourdes necessitated going through the Pyrenees (Pyrenees - Wikipedia) with a stop at the cliff side monastery of Montserrat (Santa Maria de Montserrat Abbey - Wikipedia) to visit the home of the Black Madonna (Virgin of Montserrat - Wikipedia).
The two-day stay in Lourdes was spiritually rejuvenating and was the pinnacle of the year. For those not familiar with the story, I commend to you the movie "The Song of Bernadette" (The Song of Bernadette (film) - Wikipedia), the most influential movie of my life.
On the way back to the United States, I had a one day lay over in Dublin, Ireland, to visit the ancestral land of one of my forefathers. While there, I took a walking tour of Trinity College which included a stroll through the fabled Long Room of the Trinity College Library. After my tour was over, I caught a cab to take me back to my hotel. The cab driver and I engaged in a conversation and, after hearing about my Irish ancestry, driver began to lecture me on the history of the Black Irish people who produced so many prominent Caribbean political leaders (Alexander Bustamante)
and artists (Claude McKay, Rihanna), -- a history which a fellow Amherst College black alum later confirmed (https://www.historyireland.com/shipped-for-the-barbadoes-cromwell-and-irish-migration-to-the-caribbean/).
Later in April, I returned to Las Vegas (April 24-29) for a couple of rounds of golf and a couple of reunions with a high school sweetheart and a "Victorville Cousin". Both reunions were very pleasant. On the way to Las Vegas, I detoured through Central California to view the historic resurgence of Tulare Lake (California flooding: Thousands of acres are underwater in California, and the flood could triple in size this summer | CNN) and the much-improved Historic Park of Allensworth (Colonel Allensworth State Historic Park - Wikipedia). On the way back, I detoured through Ontario, California, to attend the Memorial Service for my Cousin Shirley.
Cousin Shirley was 80 years old so her passing was not unexpected. What was unexpected was the turnout and the general good feelings associated with the service. Maybe it was receiving a little bottle of gin as a memorial souvenir that helped to put everyone at ease. Nevertheless, it was good to see so many of my Compton cousins and it was so nice to hear so many stories about how Cousin Shirley impacted them and their lives.
Dating continued in May, with limited success. The big event of the month was learning about the passing of my father figure track coach Len Miller (Len Miller Obituary (1937 - 2023) - Los Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Times (legacy.com)) After reading the obituary in the Los Angeles Times, I posted on the Legacy page and arranged to attend his Memorial Service. It was held on May 15, 2023, at the University of California, Irvine, where Coach Miller achieved arguably his greatest coaching success, winning two NCAA Division II cross country championships and one NCAA Division II track and field championship.
I cannot tell you fully the impact that Len Miller had on my life. I think he knew how important he was to me. Indeed, in January of 2022, out of the blue he called me. During this conversation, I asked Coach if he was Jewish. I asked him that because while he was coaching me in 1968-69 in Victorville, California, there was never any hint that he was Jewish. However, in 2008, I had lunch with one of his teaching colleagues who also happens to be one of my Victorville Fathers. This second Victorville Father was a friend of Coach Miller and told me about Coach Miller's Jewish background. I was surprised in 2008 so when the opportunity arose in 2022, I took it to ask about his background.
Coach told me that he was Jewish but that he was not observant. He also told me about his immigrant grandfather who came to this country with nothing but worked hard enough to finally save enough money to buy a horse which he used to start a delivery service in New York. Coach then told me about his father. His father was a brilliant man who got an education and started an accounting service in Los Angeles. His father's name is Richard Miller and, after our phone call, I found this obituary
I was stunned by this revelation. The man that I knew as just an extraordinary track coach happened to be the only son of an influential businessman and philanthropist. But this revelation would occur later. As the actual phone conversation went on, I told Coach that I would like to come and visit him in Santa Barbara to learn more. He told me that he had purchased a home in the Southern Highlands community in Las Vegas (Southern Highlands Golf Club - Wikipedia) so that he could pursue his gambling endeavors. He invited me to come to Las Vegas and visit him there. I took him up on his offer and visited him in February of 2022. The evening I was able to spend with Coach in his Las Vegas home was very revealing as to what was important in his life. The home was filled with photos of his teams from his coaching career and of photos of Steve Scott, the former American mile record holder who held the record for twenty-five years and who is one of the greatest milers in history. Steve Scott (runner) - Wikipedia
I have many memories from that evening with Coach, and I carried many of them with me when I went to Coach's memorial service. At the service, I got to meet all of Coach's children and to listen to accolades from his friends, family and his athletes. There was so much love and admiration for the man. It was during the service that I learned more about Coach's love for poker and it was after the service that I learned about his partnership with the Poker legend Doyle Brunson (Doyle Brunson - Wikipedia). I also learned of Coach's connection to his UCLA college classmate, Denny Crum, the legendary Hall of Fame Louisville basketball coach (Denny Crum - Wikipedia). Coach and Denny Crum were fraternity brothers who became so close that they vacationed together throughout their adult lives and attended each other's major athletic events when they won their respective NCAA championships. Ironically, all three of these close friends, would die within ten weeks of each other.
Coach Miller's memorial service was the most impactful memorial service that I attended in 2023 but it was not the last. There would be four more.
After Coach's memorial service, I visited Bruce's Beach (Bruce's Beach - Wikipedia) again before getting on my plane. Visiting Bruce's Beach has become a ritual ever since learning of its existence some three years ago. It has become a spiritual place for me and a source of hope that restoration and racial reconciliation can be achieved one day.
Upon returning to Fairfield, I spent a day of rest to recuperate from the emotion of Coach's Memorial Service before heading to Genoa, Nevada, (Genoa, Nevada - Wikipedia) for my annual "soak" vacation at the historic David Walley's Resort. Time was short but the three days there was a bit of heaven.
For the Memorial Day Weekend, I visited my daughter Camille in Spokane. While there, I was treated to a performance of the 25th Anniversary Tour of Riverdance (Riverdance - Wikipedia). As an extension of my exploration of my Irish heritage, being able to attend this performance was one of the cultural highlights. While visiting Camille, her beau, Jeremy, graciously asked me for permission to marry her. A little taken aback by the sweetness of the request, I was able to collect myself to say "Yes".
A few days later, Jeremy took me on a ride to Idaho to his place of employment, the Silverwood Theme Park (Silverwood Theme Park - Wikipedia) where he serves as the Maintenance Supervisor. The park reminded me of Knott's Berry Farm only with a Water Park addition. I was very impressed that the proper functioning of the park relied on Jeremy. Afterwards, Jeremy and I further bonded by hacking our way through a round of golf at the Twin Lakes Village Golf Course (Twin Lakes Village Golf Club | Rathdrum Golf Courses | Rathdrum Public Golf (golftwinlakes.com)). My golf game was atrocious, but the scenery was beautiful.
June found me going to Santa Cruz for a date. It was not successful. But I was able to soothe my concerns by returning to Genoa for another few days of soaking where I was joined, for a few days, by a Victorville Cousin. It was nice to have some company and Genoa and Lake Tahoe were beautiful.
I returned to the Bay Area in time to take my two youngest daughters to see Madame Butterfly (Madama Butterfly - Wikipedia) at the San Francisco Opera on June 24. It was their first time going to the opera. The San Francisco Opera version of Madame Butterfly was a stunningly beautiful production, and the music and singing were superb. After some four years attending the opera, Madame Butterfly became my favorite, but it would not hold that position for long.
July saw dating ventures to see George Benson (7/7) and Diana Krall (7/14) at the Thunder Valley Casino in Lincoln, California. On July 15, I attended my fourth memorial service. This one was for Joe Fong, a 91-year-old golf buddy. Joe was an inspiration. He was an avid golfer and tennis player who played both well into his 80s. Even as he aged, he refused to use the Senior Tees on the golf course. I especially miss seeing him at the In-Shape Fitness Club where he essentially "resided" during the last ten years. Joe's dedicated attendance at the fitness center even after he turned 90 was inspirational and the touching memorial service attended by his friends and his very extensive family members was quite a fitting tribute to a life well lived. (Joseph O Fong Obituary - Fair Oaks, CA (dignitymemorial.com))
The next week, I hopped in my car for what I thought would be a scenic drive to Portland, Oregon. The drive was scenic, but later on my body informed me that driving six hundred miles on a single day will not be tolerated. Especially, when that is followed by another150 miles of driving to reach Seattle. Even at almost 70, I still find that I have new daily lessons to learn.
I traveled to Seattle and a bit beyond to Shoreline, Washington, to attend the memorial gathering on July 22 for my former City of Richmond colleague, Bill Bonnell (William M. Bonnell ’63 | Dartmouth Alumni Magazine) (William Bonnell Obituary (2023) - Shoreline, CA - East Bay Times (legacy.com)). Bill's loving wife Susan held the memorial service at their home in Shoreline. It was like a reunion of City of Richmond staffers from two decades ago. It was so good to see Sheila Smith, Linda Thomas, Ed San Diego, Rich Davidson and Joanne Sidwell again. I do miss them.
It was also good to finally meet Susan, Bill's second wife, who I have only known through the exchange of Season Greetings cards over the last two decades, and to see Cathy, Bill's first wife, along with Callie, his daughter, again. It was also good to meet Bill's grandson Giovanni. Giovanni is an adult now. That is what can happen over twenty years.
Susan and Bill shared a love of art and of painting. As a memorial souvenir, Susan allowed the attendees to take one of the small landscape paintings that Bill had done. I took one that caught my eye, a mountain landscape with a river in the foreground running down from the mountains. Good memories and a nice painting made the drive so worthwhile despite the toll on the body.
My next adventure occurred two weeks later, when I received a phone call from my sister, Evelyn, who had decided that her retirement to Texas was not quite working out. I had previously offered to share my abode with her, and she said, upon reconsideration, that she would accept. So, on August 7, I hopped on a plane to Dallas, Texas. Evelyn picked me up at the airport, and we began our great Route 66 adventure.
Before getting on Interstate 40 (the new Route 66), we headed north on Interstate 35 to Oklahoma City, my birthplace, via Ardmore, Oklahoma, Evelyn's birthplace. Ardmore was a revelation. I remember leaving Ardmore in 1957 on the way to Victorville. In my four-year-old brain, I only recalled a shoddy house on a raggedy road. In my memories, there was nothing appealing about Ardmore. Well, as it happens the Ardmore of my limited memory was not the full story of the Ardmore that is (Ardmore, Oklahoma - Wikipedia) Oklahoma has experienced an oil boom and Ardmore has been a large part of it. The City of Ardmore is clean with sturdy houses and abundant cultural facilities.
Seeing her birthplace home made my sister quite proud. But we could not stay there long. We had to get to Amarillo.
We drove up to Oklahoma City and viewed the growing skyline from a distance. I had wanted to stop to see the Memorial for the Murrah Building bombing again, but the sun was already beginning to set, so we could only breeze by. The drive to Amarillo, on the new Route 66 (aka Interstate 40), was iconic. The plains stretched on to the sunset and, along the way, after crossing back into Texas, we noticed that a giant cross was erected next to the freeway to remind us that we were in God's country.
We stayed in Amarillo for the night. The next day, we traveled into New Mexico, stopping in the hometown of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez, the great city of Albuquerque (Albuquerque, New Mexico - Wikipedia), before going on to Gallup, New Mexico. Along the way to Gallup, I noticed a small casino off on the side of the road. It was the Fire Rock Casino (Fire Rock Navajo Casino - Wikipedia), the Navajo Nation's first foray into gaming. After such long-time resistance, the Navajo finally succumbed to the lure of gaming. I sighed ... and I smiled.
The drive into Flagstaff was through a lightning storm. The flashes of lightning were like there was a battle going on up in the sky. It was terrifying in some ways and magnificent in others. It was a fabulous Route 66 memory.
The layover in Flagstaff facilitated a detour to the Grand Canyon. It would be my third time there and my sister's first. As always, the Canyon was awe inspiring. Somehow seeing the crevice that God's finger etched was simply overwhelming and humbling. Millions of years in the making, it seems strange that, for God, the creation of the Canyon was only yesterday.
The drive from the Grand Canyon to Victorville was glorious. marked by the sun shining through the clouds just as we neared the California border. The golden rays of the sun pointing the way to entry into the Golden State. Poetic.
We spent the night of August 9 in Victorville with my brother Kevin. It was just a brief layover before driving up Highways 395, 58, and 99 to retrieve my car at the Sacramento Airport. Ironically, I would be back in Victorville the next week for a more somber occasion, the memorial service for my Victorville Cousin, Rick Piercy (Lewis Center CEO, co-founder to step down (vvdailypress.com)). Held on August 15, the touching service was held in Apple Valley (Apple Valley, California - Wikipedia) at the Community Church at Jess Ranch. The reception afterwards became a mini-reunion of Victor Valley High School alumni including one alum that I had not seen in over fifty years. I think Rick would have been pleased with the service and with the knowledge that, even in death, he had served a purpose of bringing people together.
After the reception, I took a long overdue tour of both Apple Valley and Victorville. In my mind, it was the tale of two cities. Separated by the Mojave River and a mountain range, the neighboring cities seemed to me to be on different trajectories. Apple Valley seemed to be a more stable middle class community with good services and nice public facilities. Apple Valley High School had expanded its campus footprint and seemed to be a place where students could go to school looking forward to the day. Victorville, at least the Victorville that I knew, seemed to be in a state of decline. The lower Seventh Street seemed to be the habitat of the walking dead. The junior high school where I had achieved some notoriety has been razed. The high school has been renovated but one of the "improvements" was the construction of a high metal fence which now surrounds the school, ostensibly to keep certain elements from coming onto the campus. And the public library, looked like it was part of a war zone with large potholes on the access street and large barriers surrounding the facility. Sadly, what I once knew, and retained some fondness for, in Victorville, had drastically changed ... and not for the better.
September was a relatively quiet month. I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge on a date (September 3); had my ex-wife, Monica, over for Labor Day dinner with my two youngest daughters, my son, my sister and me on September 4; took my youngest daughter Cristina to see Il Trovatore (Il trovatore - Wikipedia) at the San Francisco Opera (September 12); took my sister to Santa Cruz to visit my brother Garry and his partner Bev (September 16); and made my annual pilgrimage to Bodega Bay on September 30.
However, the big event for September was my seventh and final memorial service -- a remembrance of Gerald Penny, a member of the Amherst College Class of 1977, who died from a drowning accident on September 12, 1973, while taking a swimming test at Amherst College. This event changed the trajectory of my academic career at Amherst College ... and changed my life. I could not go back to Amherst College for the memorial services that the College held for Gerald on the 50th anniversary of his death.
However, through a series of emails, I conveyed some of the feelings I had about the occasion and the significance it had for me and many others. Some moments stay with us for a lifetime.
October began by taking my sister to see the new jazz sensation Samara Joy at the Mondavi Center on the UC Davis campus on October 4, before flying to Minneapolis on October 6 to attend the wedding of my Amherst College classmate, my suitemate, my thesis mate, and my golf inspiration Dave Mooty to the lovely Lauren Florine on October 7. Held at the Minikadha Club the wedding was marvelous. All of Dave's children were there along with his grandchildren. From Amherst, Jim Kennedy and I were in attendance soaking in the good life that seemed to surround the Mooty clan.
The next morning, I was fortunate to attend Lauren and Dave's family reception at the Minikadha Club (The Minikahda Club - Wikipedia). Again, the Mooty clan was in great attendance. I actually had the opportunity to speak with some of Dave's children and engage in a conversation with one his granddaughters who had been engrossed in reading a book while the social gathering swirled around her. I stayed until the end when Dave and Lauren left the facility in Dave's blue Corvette heading off on their honeymoon. In so many ways, my dear friend has been very blessed.
Before leaving Minnesota, I dined at the famous Owanmi restaurant (Owamni - Wikipedia), an upscale Native American restaurant located in downtown Minneapolis overlooking the Mississippi River; visited the George Floyd Memorial; played nine holes of golf at the historic Hiawatha Golf Course (Hiawatha Golf Course - Wikipedia); and walked all four floors of the Mall of America (Mall of America - Wikipedia) where I happened upon a Japanese grocery named Ebisu just as the store was playing this song
Minneapolis was a very memorable trip.
The next week saw a memorable date (October 14) where I attended the Retirement Concert of the legendary Pete Escovedo (Pete Escovedo - Wikipedia) at the Blue Note Jazz Club in Napa. And, on October 21, I took Jennifer to see Lohengrin (Lohengrin (opera) - Wikipedia) at the San Francisco Opera, an opera that was just too long.
The last full week of October, I once again hopped into the car (on October 25) to drive to Palm Springs. I had planned on playing golf but did not. I went to the weekly (Thursday) edition of the Palm Springs street fair and purchased a nice globe. The next day (October 27) I drove all the way to Victorville to celebrate my Mom's birthday and to have lunch with my expanding group of Victorville cousins. Afterwards, I drove back to Palm Springs for a golf adventure alternative on Saturday (October 28), a Daryl Hall concert featuring Todd Rundgren. I was pleasantly surprised with the "Hello, It's Me" Todd Rundgren. His set of his hits along with some R&B standards really got to me. Daryl Hall's set was not so much. Daryl seemed to be in a grumpy mood and spent too much time complaining that the sound system was not working properly. Also, some of his classic hits like "Maneater" he did not do. After the concert, I learned about the somewhat bitter split of Hall & Oates which might have limited Daryl's song selection for this concert. I also learned that Daryl Hall (Daryl Hall - Wikipedia) is now 77 years old. So maybe, just maybe, he has earned the right to be a grumpy old man.
In November, I took my sister, Evelyn, to see Omar (Omar (opera) - Wikipedia), a new opera composed by Rhiannon Giddens and Michael Abels. Based on the true story of a Muslim scholar who was captured and sent to America as a slave, this opera's message, singing and staging were outstanding. Because of the total package, Omar overtook Madame Butterfly as my favorite opera of all time.
The day after Omar, I hopped on a plane to Manila to complete another bucket list item to visit Asia. My first stop was the beautiful Incheon (Seoul) Korea airport. The Incheon Airport is very modern and very clean. The modernity of the airport seemed to be invitation to explore South Korea, but it was only a layover. South Korea would have to wait for later.
Arriving in Manila, on Tuesday, November 14, my Philippine adventure began with a cab ride through the crowded streets of the Philippine capital. Not since traveling through the black townships of South Africa had I encountered such scenes of urban poverty. Some 25 million people live in metropolitan Manila. Far too many people.
I stayed in Manila only a couple of days. I visited the Mall of Asia (SM Mall of Asia - Wikipedia) both days. The Mall of Asia actually dwarfed the Minnesota Mall of America. To my surprise, the Mall of Asia was just as modern and clean as the Mall of America. But it was even more busy. It was amazing to me to see how crowded and busy the Mall of Asia was. And whereas the Mall of America could be traversed in two days, after two days at the Mall of Asia I felt as though I had only scratched the service.
On Friday, November 17, I flew to Cebu City, to stay at the appropriately named 1521 Hotel in Lapu Lapu. Lapu Lapu is named after the Philippine tribal chieftain who led the forces that fought the Spanish on the island and killed the explorer Magellan in 1521 in the historic encounter that marked the beginning of Philippine resistance to the Spanish invasion. I visited the site of the slaying of Magellan on November 18 where a statue of a Marvel like Lapu Lapu dominates the park site where Magellan was killed (Mactan Shrine - Wikipedia). Pretty impressive.
The visit to the Mactan Shrine was the first stop on a tour of Cebu. The next stop was at the Temple of Leah (https://www.lakwatsero.com/spots/temple-of-leah-cebu/), the Philippine version of the Taj Mahal -- a massive architectural structure constructed by one man to demonstrate his love for a woman. And then a visit to Little Kyoto (Sachiko's Little Kyoto: Japan Feels in Cebu City (sugbo.ph)) followed by lunch at the massive Seaside Mall (SM Seaside City - Wikipedia) before ending the day of sightseeing by going to the National Museum of the Philippines (National Museum of the Philippines – Cebu - Wikipedia).
The second day in Cebu was spent attending a Sunday Mass at the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Help (Baclaran Church - Wikipedia). The Church was beautiful and had open walls to allow the breeze to come through. An occasional bird would fly in to attend the service with us.
There is a formality about the rituals of a Catholic service that are very comforting. However, to my surprise, it was the sermon that snapped me to attention. Father Leo Armada gave a quietly compelling sermon on talents. He spoke about how we all have talents, some have many, others only a few. However, whatever talents we have, have been given to us by God. And because these gifts are given to us by God, we have a responsibility to use them wisely for the benefit of mankind, not for some personal gratification. We also have a responsibility to nurture our talents so that they can reach their full potential and impact in this world. The failure to wisely use our talents and the failure to properly nurture them will be cited on the day of judgment when we meet God, so it is best to take care now that our talents are not wasted.
I took Father Armada's sermon to heart. It is one of the reasons why I continue to send out these Season Greetings messages every year.
After the service, I returned to the Seaside Mall for lunch and ended the day by returning to the National Museum of the Philippines to spend my last hours reading about the geological, biological, historical and cultural aspects of the Philippines. It was fascinating.
Then it was back to Manila for a night before flying back to Incheon and on to San Francisco.
I made it home in time to get my turkey and ham for Thanksgiving dinner. My two youngest daughters, my sister, and I had a very enjoyable Thanksgiving dinner. I enjoyed the day and the following weekend before once again getting in my car for the drive to Anaheim for my 70th birthday treat, -- three days at Disneyland.
The return to Disneyland after a 19-year hiatus proved less than magical. It was extremely crowded and, after three days of long lines and less than thrilling rides, I was no longer certain that Disneyland is the "happiest place on earth". Nevertheless, I did ride the Christmas version of It's a Small World twice during the three days and, for those few minutes, I was eleven years old again.
Now that was magic!
Before driving home to Fairfield, on December 1, I decided to check off one more of my to-do items. I decided to go the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades (Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine - Wikipedia). It was to be the spiritual bookend to my visit to the Self-Realization Fellowship Meditation Garden in Encinitas back in January. I found the Lake Shrine to be beautiful, but it was not as serene and beautiful as the Meditation Garden in Encinitas. For "Serenity Now!" the answer is still in Encinitas.
December was filled with Christmas preparations. I had to purchase a real tree for Cristina and had to begin my annual chore of drafting a Season Greetings message and sending out my 250+ Season Greetings cards. I took Jennifer to the San Francisco Symphony performance of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" which caused another flashback to a time some 58 years ago. Wow!
For Christmas, I invited my ex to Christmas dinner for the first time in some 23 years and, with my son, my two youngest daughters and my sister, we had a grand ol' dinner.
Finally, on December 30, my sister and I went to the Retirement Party for one of the City Attorney's Office administrative staff, and one of my good friends, Crystal Dunn. As the final event of my very memorable anniversary year, this event was a positive way to end the year, being around good friends to celebrate the retirement of a good friend. It was the perfect way to say (247) Auld Lang Syne | Highland Saga | [Official Video] - YouTube
Peace,
Everett "Skip" Jenkins
Fairfield, California
January 2, 2024
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